"I'm 38, married, and always lived a happy straight life.
I had a few experiences when I was about 16 or 17, but don't we all? It was only wanking with a mate while we were watching porn, and it was only a handful of times.
After that I never really gave it any thought. I like watching guys in porn, and I can really get off on a well hung bloke pounding some pussy and then shooting his load. But I'd never really call myself even bisexual.
My problem is that I'm now in one of those friendships again, but I'm married. I love my wife very much, and our sex life is fantastic.
A few months ago I offered to help a guy on our football team move house. He recently split from his girfriend and had to move out short notice. So I offered use of my van.
We moved his stuff and at the end of the day I stuck around in the new flat to help him set up his tech. So when we were done we were testing it all out and he put a porno on.
I don't see a whole lot of porno, with the Mrs and the kids around all the time it's not to easy.
So we had a few pints and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were both sat there on his sofa with our dicks out wanking away!
I have to admit it was great, and I thought of my mate when I was a teen and wondered why I'd stopped doing this with mates.
We've done it every week since that first night, and since our last meet we swap hands too. It really does feel good to hold his thick dick in my hand, and to have him stroking mine.
Like I said, I love my wife and would never leave her. But there's something really comfortable about doing this with my mate and I don't want to stop it.
So what do you think, is it cheating? Should I stop? Should I tell her?"
This is actually quite a common dilemma amongst mutual male strokers who happen to be straight.
And, in al honesty, there is no real answer that could cover every relationship. It's all down to the limits of your relationships and whether you think it is cheating, whether you think she'd be upset, or whether you think she'd understand.
In reality, if she's an intelligent woman, she'll understand you both wanking together to porn and not be particularly worried. Swapping hands may be different though. Most women would see this as a step too far and a question of sexuality. We know it might be a fetish thing and doesn't actually mean you're gay or bi, but most people can't get their heads around this.
Ultimately it is your decision. If you know she'd be upset by something you are doing with another person, then theoretically it is cheating. But if you view it as just two guys being mates and sharing a hobby, then maybe there's no reason to discuss it with her at all. I mean, it's not like you're going to run off with the guy and have a civil ceremony!
It's just two blokes doing together something that they would normally do in private. But again, if you are concerned perhaps you need to lay off the swapping of hands until you're either able to confront the Mrs and explain your friendship, or come to some conclusion in your own mind about what is acceptable in a marriage.
No one else can give you permission to continue this friendship. You have to make the decisions here and decide what is right for you and her. All I can do is suggest what I think, and I don't think it's something you need to trouble her with.
I may be right, I may be wrong, but two straight guys sharing a wank is not something that really needs discussing with a female partner, IMO. Swapping hands... that's your call.
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